Now You Know Why. What’s Next?
Last week I talked about how to understand your own internal logic underpinning behavior that you’d like to change, by talking to the parts of yourself that are driving the old behavior.
What’s Next?
Knowing why you behave the way you do is necessary, but often not sufficient.
As long as there is a part inside you that is viscerally committed to the internal logic of this behavior, it will be almost impossible to change.
This Is The Key
Make friends. This means communicating with the part who’s dug in so deeply, to understand its motivation, its fears, and its purpose.
Start This Way
Select a behavior you’re doing that at least on the surface, isn’t helpful for you. I’ve talked a lot about resisting starting your creative work, judging it harshly and being afraid to show it to anyone. You can certainly start with one of those behaviors.
But you can also use this with other behaviors that dog you…that you know you need to change, but that seem intractable, intrenched, immovable.
My favorite one is overeating. But you could start with something less fraught, like watching too much TV, or drinking too much caffeine, or cluttering.
Ask the behavior these questions. Do it in writing.
- What is your purpose?
- What are your fears?
- What do you protect me from?
I’ve talked a lot about having conversations with parts of yourself, to learn what unconscious (but logical, in their own way) motivations are driving your behavior. My goal for 2022 is to support you in changing the behaviors that don’t serve you anymore.
Especially the ones around your creative work.
Because your work matters.
PS: As I have mentioned (!), my new book will help you make peaceful relationships with the parts of you that are blocking you from starting, finishing, and showing your work. You can find it here.