How to Separate Making Art from Selling Art—So You Won’t Feel Depressed (For Long), No Matter What Happens

If you’re in business for yourself, it’s practically impossible to stay detached from how much of your work you sell.

This is especially true if you sell what you do or make. If you’re a therapist and no one comes for therapy, your first thought is often “What’s wrong with me?” If no one buys your books or your paintings or hires your band or wants you to dance in their production of A Chorus Line, not taking it personally is hard. It’s worse if you decide that other people’s buying choices have something to do with your worth as a human being, or even whether your skills have a place on the earth.

Here’s the bad news. Trying to have No Feelings about whether people buy your work or not is hopeless. You almost have to be a sociopath not to care whether people buy what you make.

What’s a creative person to do?

Have an active imagination session with the part of you that believes your work is your worth. Getting to know this part of yourself, learning to love and appreciate it, is the antidote. You may still have the feelings, but they’ll relax their grip.

I did that with the part of me that holds the belief. The results are below. I’ve listed some questions at the end of my session that you can use to talk to your inner ‘Hell Yes I Take That Personally’ part.

If you need help, let’s chat.

C: HI. May I speak with the part of me that feels worthless if no one hires me or buys my books?
P: Yes.
C: Hi. Could you tell me about yourself?
P: I’m a kid.
C: Do you know how old you are?
P: Ten.
C: Could you tell me more?
P: I’m smart. But I can’t trust anybody. People tell me I’m smart but then I get in trouble when I say things I think are right. So when you write a book and you think it’s right, I’m not sure. I’m scared. I think I’ll just get in trouble again. It feels really bad.
C: That doesn’t sound like fun.
P: It isn’t. These stupid people say I’m smart and I then I think I have a place and I know I fit, but then if no one likes the books, the stuff you work on so hard to make them good, I can’t take the rejection. It’s too hard. You work and work on the stuff you put out there and it doesn’t mean anything.
C: How can I help you?
P: Well. I’d like to tell you not to write anything, but that would make me sad too. And I know you have to publish what you write, somehow. I just wish you’d keep the whole thing a secret.P: I sort of know you don’t want to do that either. I just feel so threatened.
C: Is there a way I could protect you?
P: Maybe. I never thought about that. Could you?
C: Absolutely. You are too young to do this. I can absolutely protect you. You don’t need to worry about this at all.
P: I don’t know how not to worry.
C: You are smart. You can practice this. I know you are smart. You don’t miss anything. I would love it if you would let yourself play. I don’t know how.
P: I would love to play! Can I??
C: Absolutely! How about today? What would you like to do?
P: Mess around when we go to the airport. Look at stuff. Maybe get a toy or something really pretty or something.
C: Done. Anything else you want to tell me?
P: Can we talk more later?
C: Absolutely. We will. Do you have a name?
P: Ha! I think my name is Happy. :>
C: Great. I love that name. Thanks, Happy. We’ll talk again.
P: Goody.

That was mine. What does yours look like? I’d love to hear.

A new class to make peace with money and marketing

Starting on July 9th, for 10 weeks, I am doing a live Zoom class from 6-7-ish PM Pacific Time. It’s for artists and creatives who want to make peace with money and business, price work, find the people who want their work plus marketing that matches their personalities and that they will ENJOY doing, and launch or fine-tune the business side of their art. Learn more here. Or email me your questions. Or just sign up.

Your work is important.

Oh, and if you're planning to talk with the part(s) who might have feelings about whether your art is bought or not, here are some questions to ask:

1. Tell me about yourself.
2. Do you have a name?
3. What do you want for me?
4. Are you protecting me from anything? If so, what?
5. How can I help you?
6. What would make you feel happy?
7. Anything else you’d like me to know?

Add your own. This is a conversation. Open your heart.